Finally Talking with James

[piwakawaka]

Watching James practice with his new team has been fascinating, this is so clearly where he belongs. The only problem is Tiwa isn't sure where she fits, he's in the changing room so quickly that she doesn't know what to say when someone asks her if she's his girlfriend.

When she gets the question, she manages a quick smile and a lie about just a friend before sitting as high up as she can be without flying.

The team is wonderful and finally seeing what he's meant to be doing when flying, but that ache of what are they is still there.

At the end of the practice, she's not sure where to wait and so sits near the bottom of the stands instead of being with the crowd of girlfriends and wives.

Comments

[notthatpotter]

It's been a pretty brilliant practice, as practices go.

James had never been so relieved when he got the position as third Chaser for the Wimbourne Wasps even though it has meant a lot of traveling around.

Which isn't entirely bad.

It doesn't change the door appearing to Milliways, anyway.

When he emerges from the changerooms, he immediately searches the stands for Tiwa.

[piwakawaka]

She's found a seat down near the bottom of the stands and waves to him, hopping up with a quiet smile.

This is how he should look, windblown and full of the joy of flying.

Now if everything else would just be as simple as flying, life would be good.

[notthatpotter]

Life would, wouldn't it?

Flying, James gets.

Quidditch, he understands.

But that little jump in his chest, or the nerves he sometimes gets when he's around Tiwa are full of questions and a rather decent share of confusion.

"Hullo, there," he greets her, smiling.

[piwakawaka]

"You looked good up there. I had to remind myself that joining you would mean getting mistaken for a snitch,"

She leans up to ruffle his hair and be close to him.

If she couldn't feel the eyes of the other friends and significant others who had watched the game, she'd kiss him, but she didn't know how to say what they were.

[notthatpotter]

"Yeah, that probably wouldn't have been the best idea," he says with a laugh, readjusting the bag containing his Quidditch gear over his shoulder.

"Come on. Let's have a bit of a walk."

[piwakawaka]

"Yup, its nice out here,"

She doesn't move far away, just beside him and looks around the field,

"How about that way? Somewhere in the distance, I think there's a stone fence. I spotted it from where I was sitting."

[notthatpotter]

"Yeah, sounds brilliant."

He isn't sure whether this would be the appropriate time to take her hand or not.

They've shared a number of kisses; he'd even been coerced by her to dance at one point. And - well.

He really doesn't know.

[piwakawaka]

Neither does Tiwa and its been bothering her today since the other people here so clearly do.

She decides to make her hand available as they start to go around the tall stands and finally says,

"Everyone seems nice. Though I think I confused a few folks as they weren't sure who I was."

In the end, she spun a quick tale about being friends and kept the details light.

[notthatpotter]

"Who you -"

Oh.

Right.

Here goes?

"Yeah ... about that."

[piwakawaka]

Tiwa's not sure if she should look at him or not since if she does then maybe this will be good.

Its not terribly logical even for her, but he makes her feel fluttery and while she hates this place they are. She'd much rather be here than nothing.

There's a slight hitch in her voice that's she's not aware of until after she speaks, "What about that?"

[notthatpotter]

"Um."

James shrugs, averting his gaze to his shoes for a moment.

"You know. About - who you are. What -"

Oh, god.

This is ... this is ridiculous, and he feels like an idiot.

Say it, Potter. Just say it.

"- we are."

There.

Except ... he's not really done yet, is he? That's not a good enough explanation.

"It's just - my mum, you know. She's got this idea that I'm actually secretly dating Puppy, which is obviously not true. She's my best friend, and it's not like that at all. And - well, Albus and Alexis are sort of ... getting really serious, and that's honestly making my parents a bit ridiculous, really.








"God, I'm starting to ramble like Albus does."

[piwakawaka]

"I don't mind. And it makes sense why your mum would think that with you and Puppy, its just how you are. I mean it would make more sense and mums do that, they worry about what happens next,"

He can say its not true with Puppy, but she's watched them and they just have an ease together.

There isn't this weirdness and ever since she's met Puppy, Tiwa's been expecting James to tell her that he's really with Puppy. Its clearly not an obviously, because its just not.

She keeps her gaze on the ground, there's a marigold just blooming and if she does that, she won't do anything foolish. After all, she's a good liar, just not around him because he's James.

[notthatpotter]

"Yeah, but my mum doesn't get to see much else, you know? She's got a pretty limited picture of what goes on in my life. Puppy's always around because ... well, she's Puppy."

In fact, the very nickname he still calls her since she was something like six years old is kind of a testament to it.

He barely uses her real name (Cora) unless they're out in public and he's got to pretend to be polite. Or some rubbish like that.

[piwakawaka]

"Yeah, but that's still what she sees. She doesn't really have much reason to think anything else,"

Since as she figured, he probably hasn't mentioned her that much or else his mum might have other ideas. Not that he has to, but it would be nice.

Though she doesn't want him to think that he has to, they might not even be a thing to talk about. Its hard to keep her voice calm since she really just wants to know what he's planning,

"What does Puppy think of all of this?"

[notthatpotter]

Honestly, he doesn't mention terribly much when it comes to his romantic, personal life.

If he must, there's a very vague word here or there - but otherwise, nothing.

"Puppy? She ... honestly, she thinks we're both being ridiculous."

He laughs.

It's clear they both have issues getting things out. (Not that Cora's really any better.)

[piwakawaka]

His laugh doesn't help and she hates that somehow they're talking about Puppy.

She likes Puppy a lot, she's fun and kind, but she's also known James for ages and his mum,

"Then clearly doing something would make things less ridiculous."

Its something to say that she can be annoyed about, so she looks up. Her eyes have a lot of hurt and confusion in them but she just feels tired of this.

[notthatpotter]

Yeah. Talking about Puppy somehow became the topic of conversation. And he has no idea how that happened.

But that's an unwanted detour.

"Agreed," he says, sobering immediately.

He catches onto Tiwa's mood. It's a bit hard not to, with her looking at him like that.

"All right. Can you be honest with me?"

[piwakawaka]

"I always try to be,"

She has since early on because that's something that matters with him.

[notthatpotter]

He nods.

"This is going to sound a bit stupid, and I apologize ... but -"

He lets out a breath.

"Right. What exactly do you think we are? I mean - what do you think about ... about me?"

[piwakawaka]

Its not quite the question she expected and its kind of terrifying. She looks up at him and feels at a loss,

"You're James. You keep me on the ground and make me feel fluttery. Things aren't simpler when you're around, but I want you to be there."

[notthatpotter]

James nods.

He's not even sure if it helps ... but ... well, it is an honest answer. And he'd asked for that.

He rests his hands on her arms.

"So, what are we doing? What were those kisses and the dancing and all that?"

[piwakawaka]

"I don't know. I thought they were wonderful, but what do you think we are? Whatever we are can't be just one of us, its both or it'll just hurt,"

She wants to shift into his arms, she really does, but she needs to know what he wants.

At the moment, she feels as if it would be easier to turn into a ball of feathers and leave than hear what he has to say.

She's just so scared that he'll decide she's not what he wants.

[notthatpotter]

"Don't be nervous," he says, smiling a little.

(Which is entirely stupid to say, considering how nervous he is.)

"I don't know what we are - never have, really. And sometimes ... I feel like it's not a problem."

But only sometimes.

Other times ...

"But what we did, what happened ... I don't regret a moment of it. It was brilliant, really."

He shrugs, helpless.

"And ... I don't know. I don't think I want that to stop."

[piwakawaka]

"I don't either. That's what makes me nervous, sometimes it seems like not thinking about it should be simpler but its not,"

Now she does move towards him, just a step but its into his arms,

"I want to be an us."

[notthatpotter]

"Yeah?"

He knows that he probably sounds a bit stupid, but his smile widens.

"All right," he says. "Let's be an 'us', then. You and me, Tiwa. Together."

[piwakawaka]

She giggles and feels rather giddy and he'll be able to feel her actually relax,

"Yes, please."

[notthatpotter]

He gently rubs her arms, a sort of soothing motion, before one hand moves to touch her cheek.

"So. I'm going to kiss you now."

[piwakawaka]

"Good,"

The rubbing feels nice and she puts her arms around him and beams up at him.

[notthatpotter]

"Brilliant."

He tilts her chin up towards him and kisses her.

And really, it's kind of perfect.

[piwakawaka]

Its so wonderful to just kiss him and not worry about anything.

She stops to take a quick breath and lean on him, she's still fluttery just the good kind now.